Blonde Jokes

[rickbicker26]

does anyone have any blonde jokes at all. Heres on to start with...........

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull from the stockyard in a far town so that they can breed their own stock. They only have $600 left. Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home."

The brunette arrives at the stockyard, inspects the bull, and decides she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home."

The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word." Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word.

After a few minutes of thinking, she nods and says, "I want you to send her the word "comfortable."

The operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her just the word "comfortable?"

The brunette explains, "My sister's a blonde. The word's big. She'll read it very slowly "com-for-da-bull"

 

[GRS]

hehe thats a good one

Ok here's one I got emailed the other day

80 Year Old Man Marries A blonde

An 80 year old man was having his annual checkup and the doctor asked him how he was feeling. "I've never
been better! "he boasted. "I've married an 18 year old blonde who's pregnant and having my child! What do
you think about that?"
 
The doctor considered this for a moment, then said, "Let me tell you a story. I knew a guy who was an avid hunter.
He never missed a season. But one day went out in a bit of a hurry and he accidentally grabbed his umbrella instead of his gun. When he was in the woods and suddenly a grizzly bear appeared in front of him! He raised up his umbrella, pointed it at the bear and squeezed the handle." "And do you know what happened?" the doctor queried.
 
Dumbfounded, the old man replied "No."
 
The doctor continued, "The bear dropped dead in front of him!"
 
"That's impossible!" exclaimed the old man. "Someone else must have shot that bear."
 
"That's kind of what I'm getting at..."replied the doctor. 

[GRS]

Oh yeah... Wifey's a blondey shhhhhhh 

[webmaster]

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me.


I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started."

Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.

She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the
table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to
her
and says,

"First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble
these pieces into anything resembling a rooster."

He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice
cup of tea, and then .."

he said with a deep sigh.....................







"Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."

[Dark Knight]

80,000 blondes meet at the O2 Dome for a "Blondes Are Not Stupid Convention".
The emcee says, "We are all here today to prove to the world that blondes are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?" One blonde steps up.
the emcee asks her, "What is 15 plus 15?"
After 15 or 20 seconds, she says, "Eighteen." Obviously, everyone is a little disappointed. Then 80,000 blondes start cheering, "Give her another chance, give her another chance."
"Well, since we've gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 of you here and the world wide press, I guess we can give her another chance."
So she says, "What is 5 plus 5?"
After nearly 30 seconds, the blonde eventually says, "Ninety?"
The emcecc sighs - everyone is real disappointed and the 80,000 blondes starts crying out start yelling, "Give her another chance, give her another chance."
Well the emcecc unsure whether or not she is doing more harm than damage, eventually says, "Ok! One more chance. What is 2 plus 2?"
The girl closes her eyes and after a whole minute eventually says "Four."
Around the stadium 80,000 girls go silent then start yelling out loud "Give her another chance, give her another chance."

[magzzie]

ok here is my bad controbustion right
there were 2 blondes and a brunete in a car and they drive of a cliff the 2 blondes hold on to the rail and keep the car from falling and the brunete says they have 2 choices first choice is to stay and someone to go and get help or second choice is to let go of the rail altogether and plumit to there death so all three of them choise the first choice nominate the brunete and she is pleased and happy and she says that she will go to fetch helpthe 2 blondes look at each other with a tear in there eyes and clap.

 

to bad they werent wearing pro-jumps

[Rocketbat]

heres one (inspired to write because of naz!)

2 blondes go intoa bar with party hats on and party blowers and order some drinks, the barman says, "whos birthday is it?"
 one of the blondes replys, "neither, we finished something and were celebrating"
barman "oh, what was it? uni work?"
other blonde "oh no, it was a jigsaw puzle its taken us over two years to do!"
barman "wow! that must be a big puzzle!"
blonde "yes very! it says on the box that it is 3 years and up but we did it in just over two!"

[Ghosti]

Lmao thanx people, you have helped me use my time on the internet worthwhile (as always) for the last 10 mins 

[magzzie]

hey they are grate

[Ghosti]

  Better than nothing 

[Dusty12]

 A blonde and a redhead went to the bar after work for a drink, and sat on stools watching the 6 O'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge, and the blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump.

Sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead $50. The redhead said,

"I can't take this, you're my friend."
But the blonde insisted saying,
"No. A bet's a bet."

Then the redhead said

"Listen, I have to tell you that I saw this on the 5 O'clock news, so I can't take your money."

The blonde replied

"Well, so did I, but I didn't think he would jump again!"


I'm blonde... I don't take offense at anything though.

[rickbicker26]

what u call a blonde who dyes her hair?

Artifical intelligence



Q: What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.


Q: What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?
A: "Oh look! Donut seeds!"

Q: Why did the blonde scale the glass wall?
A: To see what was on the other side.

Q: How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves?
A: She fell out of the tree.

Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
A: She threw it off a cliff!